Sophie: First Therapy Session

Subject: Sophie B.

Session 1 Transcript

Dr. Schpindensmith-Wangjones:

So…

Sophie:

A needle pulling thread, bitch.

Dr. Schpindensmith-Wangjones:

I sense some hostility.

Sophie:

I sense counterfeit Chanel #5 from Chinatown… corner of Mulberry & Lafayette. If you walk down a couple more blocks to Franklin, you can get it 5 bucks cheaper. Still smells like it dropped outta my ass a course.

Dr. Schpindensmith-Wangjones:

Yes, well, let’s talk about you… and why you’re here.

Sophie:

I hate you.

Dr. Schpindensmith-Wangjones:

Yes, well that doesn’t answer my question does it.

Sophie:

Blah, blah, blah, I kill people, I’m remorseless, perhaps psychotic, I have a visible asshole and I generally use it maliciously.

Dr. Schpindensmith-Wangjones:

How so?

Sophie:

Let’s not play games Wangsmith, I fart. I enjoy it. I can clear a room faster than that goddamn Turn Around Bright Eyes song…

Dr. Schpindensmith-Wangjones:

I think people rather like that song, I happen to…

Sophie:

This isn’t about you, it’s about me. I’ll kill that fucking song if I ever meet it, see it, hear it, you name it. It’s just gone.

Dr. Schpindensmith-Wangjones:

Let’s talk about your need to, and I’m quoting here “Kill the people.”

Sophie:

You’re not gettin’ shit from me. First Amendment

Dr. Schpindensmith-Wangjones:

I believe you mean “5th Amendment”

Sophie:

Whatever gets me outta here.

Dr. Schpindensmith-Wangjones:

How many people have you killed, Sophie?
Sophie:

Not including you?

Dr. Schpindensmith-Wangjones:

I’m still alive Sophie.

Sophie:

I just gave you a look - you could go at any time, tomorrow, in a couple years, you’ll never know.

Dr. Schpindensmith-Wangjones:

So could we all, Sophie. Talk to me. Make me understand your need. Why a beautiful, seductive, young, exceptional woman like you wants to kill?

TO BE CONTINUED…

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yulia on April 19th, 2009 at 12:38 am

So this is my theory: Sophie would never agree to therapy unless court-ordered and she hasn’t yet been caught by Dilly and Tom Foolery, so maybe Priti Gupta Something-Wangjones is her sane alter ego trying to talk sense to her, to protect her before she’s caught. Maybe she’s afraid or has a conscience after all . . .
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Sophie: First Therapy Session

167 Responses to “Sophie: First Therapy Session”

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