Sophie Shares: “I’m Suing Joe Shitriani”
Fwa-Grass? Not me, I just eat their crap. Mmmmm.
His “hard-rockin” escalator music is like a steamin turd turkey-horse stuffed with Christian Love Soldiers. I’ve been experimenting with some over-in-dad’s drawer pharmaceuticals, and I can tell you, if you take just the right amount of Vicodin to actually listen to Joe Satriani’s “If I Could Stool in Your Ear,” you’ll hear messages of love and praise, glory and joy and other horrible, horrible, whoring-ass shit that might just make you believe in Him.
And not the good Him (he who must not be written, sold, smelled or heard from / aka my love, lord and adsorbing master mistress - ShamWow)… the Shitriani him. On just 2 Vicodin “If I Could Fly Coach,” revealed the following message over and over again. “My Sweet Joe, you really want to hear me”. Anyway, there’s other shit I wanted to get to, dad’s feelin sorry for himself cuz he says he’s an electric football player, so I had to write in this goddamn thing. Grow some balls old man. Chin up.
The Dewclaw Killer? Victims? Goose Shit. Mmmmmm
Sophie, I doubt you’d pass on a little liver and fava beans.
Well, considering she eats goose shit, I don’t think she would pass on it. God, if Frank or I died in the apartment and there was nothing to eat, she’d be the first to dig in. The question is, how many hours would it take her?
I know Lucky has been ill, and it may be affecting Sophie’s journal writing, but we need new entries! Sophie should read the passages about the hellhounds Alvin and Mohammad’s amorous welcomes of their master Charlie in Christopher Moore’s A DIRTY JOB, and about their appetites (they ate anything, meat to metal).
Hey Frank! Do Not ever - to me - make promises you do not keep!
Farwell
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